Sometime all i want is the assurance that I matter to you, the assurance that when you start having a bad day that you can come to me and vent and vice versa. Sometimes all I need is your honesty, an honest driven relationship should NOT be this hard to find. What more, we're friends not just people that know each other that wanna get to know each other better. So dont you dare lie to me when we talk and you BETTER talk instead of being a coward and ass! Because i know it all, every little thought thats passed your lieing mind in the past few weeks. Sorta like when you uncover something you didnt realize was there, thats whats going on and there sure was more to uncover than i would have imagined..much more. Friends dont do that.
You:
Lost feelings soon after but didnt feel the need to tell me before we got farther.
Made a big deal out of picking up your GIRLFRIEND.
Didnt even think i looked nice, better after i look like crap from work.
Brought someone on what i thought was a date to make it awkward for me/get your point across.
Never offered to get me anything to eat.
Ignored my existance.
Made fun of my work ethic.
Kissed me to test those non-existant feelings.
Talked to my dad when you werent planning on beig serious.
Need I go on....
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
I have
Ever driven down a road so fast you feel your heart beating like a bad drummer.
Ever yielded to someone, declaring in your heart that there must be/could be somethin.
I have.
Ever watched someone hurt and couldnt find a single word left to muster if only to sit and listen.
Ever cared for someone so much that you can feel and taste their pain like a cold sore.
Ever forgotten that your hurting too.
I have.
Ever yielded to someone, declaring in your heart that there must be/could be somethin.
I have.
Ever watched someone hurt and couldnt find a single word left to muster if only to sit and listen.
Ever cared for someone so much that you can feel and taste their pain like a cold sore.
Ever forgotten that your hurting too.
I have.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Trail and error.
Its sorta like trail and error.
Or like jumping in the water only to discover its negative something degrees.
Its like believing in something or someone without seeing the unbelievable.
Why?
Or like jumping in the water only to discover its negative something degrees.
Its like believing in something or someone without seeing the unbelievable.
Why?
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Crazy thinking
Don't think too hard about this and that. Does thinking to the point of crazzzzy ever get anyone anywhere? So far, it doesnt look like it, besides getting that person to the "crazy point." I mean everything you do and say should be thought through. Where would we be if we simply didnt use our heads through life? I mean even those who screw up over and over still think about what they did to some extent. However, they may screw up and think about it in a positive way due to different opinions and beliefs. Once someone has messed up, sometimes they justify what happened to cater to the life they have "now."
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Ya can't.
Ya can't run from everything.
Ya can't turn off the sun during the day when its too hot to handle.
Ya can't drive off to think, eventually you'll run out of gas.
Ya can't superglue your fingers together just for fun without expecting it to take a while to fix.
Ya can't keep promises but talk about the person at the same time.
Ya can't go trusting a person without grounds to prove reliability.
Ya can't say its not worth it without testing what appears to be unworthy.
Ya can't run from God without realizing you need him to survive.
Ya can't please everyone, so dont try.
Ya can't imitate a personality, you can only personalize your own.
Ya can't tell me what you mean without giving me all ya got.
Ya can't love if you don't know the meaning of the word.
Ya can't always have it your way.
Ya can't turn off the sun during the day when its too hot to handle.
Ya can't drive off to think, eventually you'll run out of gas.
Ya can't superglue your fingers together just for fun without expecting it to take a while to fix.
Ya can't keep promises but talk about the person at the same time.
Ya can't go trusting a person without grounds to prove reliability.
Ya can't say its not worth it without testing what appears to be unworthy.
Ya can't run from God without realizing you need him to survive.
Ya can't please everyone, so dont try.
Ya can't imitate a personality, you can only personalize your own.
Ya can't tell me what you mean without giving me all ya got.
Ya can't love if you don't know the meaning of the word.
Ya can't always have it your way.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
No air
"out here in the water so deep, tell me how ya gone be without me..i just cant breathe, no air, no air.."
...home tonight, sorta wondering what your thinking. Its been an ok week. But why does it seem like now that you've got me, your moving even slower than ever or making it come across like you dont really care. I know I screwed up before but I apoligized and made it right. So here I am once again and I'm giving this a chance bc I believe in you and I know despite how annoying you can be sometimes, that you really are something else. We agreed on taking it slow because we didnt wanna screw up what we already have. We agreed to give this a shot, "ya never know.." and here we are. I guess I just like to feel more wanted and cared for. Like I'm on your mind, you're on mine. I try to wait and see if you'll call later or send something short. Most of the time you don't and I'm left there hanging again. When we're all hanging out, you jokingly mess around with my buddies and dont seem to pay me much attention..if its to make me sorta jealous, its really not working, if anything that would piss me off. However there are many things I can name off about you and I'm sure I'll think of more specific ones later. You listen, you talk, you're considerate, sensitive, caring, you think about things like I do, you're hesitant to get into another relationship, once you find those few people that you trust and care about-you stick with them and love them, you're a hard worker...even when you whine about it, you have your own way of being funny, you seem to conform a little at times but you still remain "yourself," you realize you cant do it without the Lord, you challenge yourself, you're picky about movies, you like elmo, you think untied shoelaces are sexy lol, you like usher alot...etc. My brain has just been swarmin with emotions tonight and I just wish it would chill.
...home tonight, sorta wondering what your thinking. Its been an ok week. But why does it seem like now that you've got me, your moving even slower than ever or making it come across like you dont really care. I know I screwed up before but I apoligized and made it right. So here I am once again and I'm giving this a chance bc I believe in you and I know despite how annoying you can be sometimes, that you really are something else. We agreed on taking it slow because we didnt wanna screw up what we already have. We agreed to give this a shot, "ya never know.." and here we are. I guess I just like to feel more wanted and cared for. Like I'm on your mind, you're on mine. I try to wait and see if you'll call later or send something short. Most of the time you don't and I'm left there hanging again. When we're all hanging out, you jokingly mess around with my buddies and dont seem to pay me much attention..if its to make me sorta jealous, its really not working, if anything that would piss me off. However there are many things I can name off about you and I'm sure I'll think of more specific ones later. You listen, you talk, you're considerate, sensitive, caring, you think about things like I do, you're hesitant to get into another relationship, once you find those few people that you trust and care about-you stick with them and love them, you're a hard worker...even when you whine about it, you have your own way of being funny, you seem to conform a little at times but you still remain "yourself," you realize you cant do it without the Lord, you challenge yourself, you're picky about movies, you like elmo, you think untied shoelaces are sexy lol, you like usher alot...etc. My brain has just been swarmin with emotions tonight and I just wish it would chill.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Zone
Does everything have to be soo lovely and happy yet dramatic at the same time..I feel torn in a million directions. So surrounded by good friends and the beginning of a relationship Im scared about. Feeling lonely and in a different zone than everyone else tonight. Might have seemed normal but I didnt feel like it and it doesnt help when your bestfriend is mad about something dumb. But I dont like drama. I really dont. Maybe theres another word for whats going on. Everythingggg thats going on, its alot it feels like. Even if it only affects a small piece of my world...it still makes an impact. I need the Lord be be woven back into my book more (beginning, middle pages, end..)...and to show me how to selflessly care for, to be the friend he wants me to be without being takin advantage of or influenced. And this relationship, I want "slow" too...but...i still need a little more reassurance in a relationship that I'm yours. Nothing big, just make it more evident. Anyways that isnt that important.
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