Zone

Does everything have to be soo lovely and happy yet dramatic at the same time..I feel torn in a million directions. So surrounded by good friends and the beginning of a relationship Im scared about.  Feeling lonely and in a different zone than everyone else tonight. Might have seemed normal but I didnt feel like it and it doesnt help when your bestfriend is mad about something dumb. But I dont like drama. I really dont. Maybe theres another word for whats going on. Everythingggg thats going on, its alot it feels like.  Even if it only affects a small piece of my world...it still makes an impact. I need the Lord be be woven back into my book more (beginning, middle pages, end..)...and  to show me how to selflessly care for, to be the friend he wants me to be without being takin advantage of or influenced. And this relationship, I want "slow" too...but...i still need a little more reassurance in a relationship that I'm yours.  Nothing big, just make it more evident. Anyways that isnt that important.